Thursday, May 12, 2011

Deadbeat

Its been quite a while. Life has become a blurr now. Yeah, I know why i put the double 'r'. Anyhow, so I realised that I have to be superorganized. And i like the idea. I am just hoping that i internalise this habit of being superorganized.
On the job front, I guess I am doing ok now. But it came with a lot of baggage, which I guess I am not ready to accept myself. therefore, I am in a state of constant denial. i guess I will be doing ok in a couple of months. Or not. I dont care anymore. I have decided to amass with both hands what I am facing at the moment. Tomorrow will come tomorrow.

Monday, January 3, 2011

3 Jan 2011

Day one. Didnot go too well. As in, I didnot do too well. Woke up when husband went to office, attempted to make a breakfast for him, sat down with work, attended millions of phone calls. So far so good. But the phone calls and FB breaks took over my day. Not much work got done. Not good. Not been to work. This will not do. Achievements: An appointment with the dietitian. Need a fresh start. Desperately. This year should be mine.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Kathy's song

I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls.

And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies.

My mind's distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're asleep
And kiss you when you start your day.

And a song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme.

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you.

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I.

Monday, September 13, 2010

The hollowness inside

Sleep does not come easily to me. As the clock strikes past midnight, I begin to like being awake and enjoy the quiet and 'me time' more and more. Well, I believe some day I will get there. Some day my entire day will be as nice as the night hours.
Am listening to music, my work for the day is done, I am done day-dreaming for the day, so its time I should retire. But I was thinking that life didn't quite turn out to be the way I thought it would be, the way it is in my day dreams, the way it has been for years and years now. No, life hasn't been so bad either, it may have been far worse, far far worse. Its not too bad at all. Its just that I just cant have it all together. Something or the other, and important things, seem to slip away from my fingers. It almost feels like a cruel joke.

Monday, May 11, 2009



Theres something about being observing an artist, that makes you fall in love, over and over again, with the whole idea of creating something. Something fresh. Something beautiful. And I am a sucker for all that makes you fall in love...with life I guess.
So there is this piece of artwork - a painting, called 'The Tourist', which is hauntingly beautiful, and for some weird reason. Makes me watch it over and over again, for hours. Actually more than the artwork, its the way the artist writes about it, that kind of makes you realise the kind of intimate relationship the artist shares with his art. Which is very very sexy. I guess its sad that work of art is so bloody expensive that only a few can afford it. Why does everything that is beautiful, most of the time, have to come with a price tag?



Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Heartache

I always carry a heartache with me. Even though I do not want to be a whiny baby. Even though I remind myself to appreciate each new day. Which I do. Its just that there are things I would like to change about my life, but I do not have enough guts. And because what if I am not happy even if I take the plunge. But then there is just one life and you got to do what you got to do, right?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Love Story

Here's a song I discovered the other day and simply loved it...its infectious. Somehow, the Romeo Juliet story never loses its charm, for centuries. What magic formula did he have, that all the plays remain eternal, universal?